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Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter | Colour Me Black

Black Lives Matter. I am thrilled to hear about this.

I mean, who knew?

And it’s dawning on me that in today’s zeitgeist being the victim of white oppression is the new safe space.

Today is 20 June 2020 and I hereby declare, as true as the one and only god in the sky somewhere, that I am BLACK. Please respect my new ethnic identity.

I renounce my so-called ‘whiteness’, my WHITE classification. There is no ‘white race’. Of that the facts are abundantly clear. I forfeit any alleged connection to it.

Oh, hell, while I’m at it, I also declare, as true as the one and only god in the sky somewhere, that I am FEMALE. You may no longer identify me as a WHITE MALE. Rather, identify me now as a BLACK FEMALE.

Now, I have, since my declaration to the outside world of my new identities, experienced anti-Black racism. I fear going out, as a black female I feel the oppression in the air.

I am always thinking about, “Will the police kill me on my way home from grocery shopping because I am black? Or, because I am female?

It could be either one of those reasons. But on the other hand, if I am to be killed on the way home from grocery shopping, why bother spending the money on groceries?

I would be better served spending the money on hookers and cocaine before being killed by the police on my way home from heavy partying.

Oh, shit, wait. I am a black female returning from partying with hookers and cocaine?

Black Lives Matter. Even Females Ones.

Do you see what’s happening? Being a black female causes me so many problems. I can’t even party with hookers and cocaine without the police killing me on my way home.

Still and all, I am a black female and I have the right to make my own responsible choices. Like, say, going out shopping, or partying.

Besides, grocery shopping is boring and will not stop the hail of police bullets coming at me at the speed of, well, bullets.

I am black. I am female, My life matters.

Don’t shoot me. Thank you.

By Sidney Winston

Atheist
Anti-theist
Secular Zionist
Dog lover
Conservative

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